Hey everyone. Since Aimee is currently inundated with work, I, Kevin, (her boyfriend) am here to write her odd news blog post. Seeing as how most of what I write is either political or terrible advice, i'll try to stay away from giving terrible political advice (Vote for LaRouche!).
Ok, so seriously, Zombies are entitled to free speech? This may be the most ridiculous story I've ever seen. Anyone with any sense of logic knows that Zombies are trying to push their people-eating agenda through the courts system. How anti-American is this judge to allow them these basic rights?
I may sound like an overly-patriotic bigot, but I believe that once you die, re-animate, and start consuming the flesh of the living, you've given up your first amendment rights. Go up to Canada where they allow that sort of thing.
We all know that Zombies are enemy number one when it comes to our national security. Armed with the ability to dominate the media, who knows how many other zombies they'll be able to recruit to their cause. Thanks Minneapolis judge! You just sped up the Zombie Apocalypse.
Story Numero Dos:
Tribes Show Best Camels at Beauty Pageant.
In the second story of the day, the Miss Arabia pageant was won by Camella the Camel. She ran into a bit of controversy during the talent competition as she performed the highly controversial "Water drink". The shocked audience nonetheless applauded fiercely as she drank enough to sustain herself for a few months.
Other talents on display at the pageant consisted of one contestant walking through a sandstorm, while another chewed something.
Camella was overjoyed as they read her name, staring akwardly as the judges congratulated her.
Thanks for reading. Aimee shall return to her regularly scheduled blog this weekend.